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Jan 12, 2004
They're dogs...dogs do IT...
Okies, so yeah, at school again. Woo... or something. So. Yeah. This. Is. Fun.
Mags and I are going to the library, to look at BOOOOOOKS! Or not... she left without me :'( HOW RUDE.
So yeah, my dad is apparently not totally P-O'ed about me and michael. Surprising, considering that I'm not supposed to date until I'm 16... ooops. Tis okies though, considering that we've been going out for almost months. Ooooh, months. Yippee. I wuv hims I finks. Tis yay! and stuff. Im going to find mag pie. adios
Posted at 03:02 pm by DarkFaerie
Dec 29, 2003
Maybe you sophmore boys arent supposed to read it! Guys have no respect for privacy. And this being my diary... get bent? *sigh* no more school entries.
Well, I'm at my moms. Yay... or nay??? bleh... whatever, I go now
Posted at 10:53 pm by DarkFaerie
Dec 18, 2003
Chain Chain Chain... chain of fools...
Kassi wants me to type up her personal history questionare for careers class... thats where I am right now, talking to Ms. Magpie... lol she's the only one who cares about my kiss. :D I love maggies... shes poifect. Yesh... so it was a big deal to me, being my first and all. Just think, my first kiss will always be w/ M. :D eeee. Im going now!
Posted at 03:00 pm by DarkFaerie
Never fear faithful...or not... readers. I haven't gone insane. I needed to write a diary entry for T so she could use it in her forensics thing... Farrago...
Anyway, yeah, she needed something of self betrayal... so I tried. But what can I do when Im so limited? :p
Yesterday *huge grin*
1. I got my class ring
2. I started forensics, and Ms. Swan said I have an amazing poetic voice
3. I got my kiss :D:D:D (eee!)
twas sweet... I relived it about 1000000000000 times last night. EEE. ok. Im going now
Adieu,
Dark FaerieŠ Posted at 01:18 pm by DarkFaerie
Well Diary,
Another day, another moment, taken, fed away from me.
I told myself another white lie. Perhaps it's not really a lie,
a forged untruth, falling from my lips as softly, as innocently as
the sweetest confession of love.
You see, dear dear diary, I wanted to be the others so badly
it nearly consumed me. My need for her reality scares me sometimes
diary. Like, I'll never be able to breathe as myself again. I created my lie
so well, sculpted it in a way, so perfectly, I am no longer who I was.
I can't be myself while I want this other life so badly, and I get terrified.
Will my betrayal of myself consume me as completely as it tries?
I can barely fight it off sometimes, diary, like... like,
it has taken me over, made me unable to cope, to act out my duties as a
living person. I'm almost gone, diary. Almost... but there is that bit of me,
however small, that lingers, prepares for the battle of my two sides.
I need to get back to myself, but how? How can I defeat this demon
that controls me so well? Dare I say it, diary? Should I give myself up
and let myself be taken over? I can't, I couldn't. But would I?
Oh, diary, I don't trust myself anymore...
Posted at 01:15 pm by DarkFaerie
Dec 17, 2003
So yeah... :D I got my class ring! Very cool, no? :p sorry. Im just really happy about it.
I have a forensics meeting tonight from 4 til 4:30, tomorrow, same time and monday, same time. It takes alot of time to be in this lol, but yay.
M isn't doing anything til like 4:30 so he's gonna bum around the school with me until 4, then he's headed of to go to work and other boring stuff like that.
My sister came into school today to drop off the money for my ring & lunch, and I was in the lib, kind of like right now ;), watching for her, and when she showed up I left and went to the office so I could give her a hug. WOO. Yeah, I love her :P
Im in an ok mood right now, surprisingly. Considering I need to study for a quiz on the 3rd and 4th chapters of ethan from for next hour which is in about... mins. maybe I should go study :P
ciao
dark faerieŠ
Posted at 01:29 pm by DarkFaerie
Dec 15, 2003
So yeah... it's 6th hour... and stuff. I should be studying for my english test next hour... and so I shall in a few moments. I guess I kind of needed to get away from the "chaos" of my study hall table...
Ang is over by me, telling me about how it happened... Ang is cool. "It" would be Ben's plan of revenge on Sam for summit. I wouldn't know what's really going on because I'm a grade above... woo! Go sophmores ;) Ang shall be reading this soon... if she gets the chance.
I hate grammatical errors... though... I make them all the time. GRR. Hey! Bacony soap!... I miss invader Zim... I miss... alot of things. I miss how my sister used to be... :O GO AWAY JASON... lol, sorry, I'm popular today. M is so cute in his gym clothes ;) mmm... imagine him out of his gym clothes. LoL...
I miss Joe-Cale too. Though I've talked to him alot recently... ok... more than usual? 2 times this month! WOO! Ms. Swan will let me use his kick @ss poem in forensics so yay. erm... I miss... Phil, and Mike, and... Dave. I really miss them. I miss them alot. It isn't fair. heh, life isn't though, is it?
Chasing the temporary high,
before it reaches the point of natural feeling.
Hightened in retrospective,
lost in a maze created only to
confuse me.
Swept away by your gaze,
Created to be my pathway,
my saving grace.
Could I be created to save
your soul?
Or was your redemption sold
to another,
before I could take my turn?
Could I be your saving grace,
in the valley of the living nightmares?
Maybe I'm here to be a shadow,
the mist in the night,
only here to take up the space
promised by our Creator
to another?
right, well now that that's out of the way, I should go... and see what's up with my comments... nobody ever leaves any. Adios, Ciao, Adieu
Je'taime
Dark Faerie QueenŠ
Posted at 01:19 pm by DarkFaerie
Dec 11, 2003
NOOOOOO! I'm not done! I just needed a break! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Anyway, I'm talking to Josh! wooo!... his blog has been deleted *sob*
shall we talk about last night? I think we should... it all started *oh, this will be a good one! I love it when they say, it all started* on the bus ride home *more muffled, but excited whispering, then... SHUT UP! IM TRYING TO HEAR THE DAMN STORY!* when Jess wouldn't let it go that T and I were sitting together on the bus, in the back seat and T wouldnt move so Jess could sit there instead of me. Not that big of a deal, considering Jess hates T (apparently cause she's black, let's just say I was more than p*ssed) and all that. So Jess goes up and tells Dan (bus driver) that T is causing trouble. Dan didnt do anything and she was still all p*ssy and all that when she got off the bus. Then she called my boyfriend while he was working *crowd exclaims shock!* and tells him she needs my number... then she called me TWICE... grrr... started stuff with me today too... Im so sick of people.
Oh yeah, and she was talking to M about me today... that didn't go over well... he's so protective. *awww* And it's really nice to cuddle up against him at lunch... (huge grin) anyway, Im gone, so adios
Je'taime
Dark FaerieŠ Posted at 05:26 pm by DarkFaerie
Dec 9, 2003
*gasp* yet again... I am at school. well, I almost went to the concert last night... almost... but since it snowed (ALOT) I stayed home and didn't really do anything but highlight in my poetry books... this forensics thing is really starting to get to me... I mean, I know when I have it ready, I'll use it all year, but because of that I want it to be... perfect? Bleh, whatever.
I suppose I haven't been writing what I normally write in here, but its like, sometimes I get so that I feel in between... invisable... very invisable...
Show me nothingness
Flash.
yeah, read Invisable Monsters by Chuck Palahnuik.
amazing book. Really amazing.
Do we really know what it feels like to live? Everything is centered around this supposed fun-type life, but sometimes I wonder. It's like... God, I don't know. You have to be pretty, you have to be popular, you have to have a million people wanting to be you, or it doesn't count.
I don't think it counts until you know what it feels like to capture the moment and suspend it in time, watching your art unfurl and take flight in an audience's heart. Have I lost it yet?
Blood drips off a single rose,
beautiful in perception
hideous if one would only take in the meaning.
A forget-me-not of a gift
left with the power of fear.
The rose is no different
than the bruises on the face,
arms,
neck.
Where do your eyes fall on this murderous scene?
Do you take in the darkness,
or perhaps the moon casting a single beam of light
across the fallen angel's body?
Or maybe your mind takes in the brokenness
of the moment,
seemingly suspended in time.
Or do your eyes see the blood,
ever red,
the pool broken only by the body and the rose,
clutched in a hand.
Clutched as if the silky helpless petals
contained enough strength
to lend in this battle against pain.
*gasp* look, one of my poems. At the moment, my moment, everything feels stopped, the motion has lost it's fluidness, the light has gotten darker... and people I thought were my friends whisper behind my back... not a big deal... right? who really cares if the crazy one feels hurt. I miss M, and he's only a few classrooms away... He's wearing neon-green today *little smile* not at all a bad colour on him... anyway, I shall flee and fell my demons as the cries rise to greet me.
Adieu, Je'taime *bows*
Dark FaerieŠ
Posted at 01:19 pm by DarkFaerie
Dec 8, 2003
:O I'M BACK!!! Holy S***!!! WOW!
okies.
so yeah. WTF?! Where is Josh? I cannot get to his blog anymore and I feel the need to cry. I'm back online at school, in the tech ed. computer lab and uh... yeah... boring? I'm working on shtuff for careers... English was hideous as usual... and now I shall talk about what bothers me...
T told me how far she and M supposedly went... however, knowing M as I do, I am loathe to accept the idea gracefully... you see, he's not like that and she tells me they did these "things" during a 2 weeks period... however, maybe I dont want to believe her because we've been going out for 3 months and we haven't done much besides hold hands *not that Im rushing ;)* I just wonder if he's with me to be with someone? Wow... damn you Jack... ruining my happiness... or maybe it was just me. However, Jack decided I have nothing to hold onto w/ M anyway and that maybe I should just forget him... riiight, that'll happen. I hate this... why can't anyone ever care about me? Im invisable in my own haven, and yet, I want M to see me... and love me? *sigh* whatever, shall explain tomorrow so Im not like BLEH! I have to go in like 3 mins... FREEDOM! adios
Posted at 03:16 pm by DarkFaerie
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